Why is there so much craziness in churches? Lack of accountability! Our human depravity can cause even the best of leaders to do something stupid! Each one of us is always just one decision away from doing something sinful. The person who won’t admit how close they are is probably already knee deep into it. In the North American church model, leaders who began with the best of intentions often find themselves succumbing to narcissistic behaviors. This stage-driven model is anemic in the best of circumstances, but when there is no transparency and accountability you will see it all unravel like a thread being pulled on a beautiful woven tapestry. We have all heard of instances where senior pastors allow their children to have sexual affairs with people in their congregation, or get a $150,000 bonus in the middle of a pandemic when most people are out of jobs. Or perhaps a pastor might sell a piece of church property for hundreds of thousands of dollars for their personal gain. (This is known to the IRS as private inurement, “a 501(c)(3) organization must not be organized or operated for the benefit of private interests, such as the creator or the creator's family, shareholders of the organization, other designated individuals, or persons controlled directly or indirectly by such private interests…”) Or silly things like senior pastors mandating that the majority of church operational expenses should be paid on their personal credit cards. It’s not ok to mix personal expenses with work expense for anyone’s personal gain. Although it may earn someone many valuable air miles, often these miles are not filed correctly with the IRS. In some churches these amounts are in the tens of thousands each month. I did not come from an affluent background. I can remember my single-parent mother working so hard, barely making enough money to support us, and trusting God with her tithe she would give to her local church. To see the lack of good stewardship, and how some churches discount the value of what it took someone to give sacrificially is heartbreaking. The list goes on and on! When something devastatingly sinful is discovered about a church leader, I have never yet been in a situation where those who know him all say, “I did not see that coming!” It’s quite the opposite…everyone knows about it. In these unstable situations you’ll find opportunists who take advantage of these seasons until the church implodes. Others justify that everything must be good because the church is growing. Many like to ride the coat tails of these narcissistic leaders because of their popularity. My saddest experience is to see staff members of churches who know what’s really happening but they just stick their heads in the sand hoping to not hear or see anything wrong. They know better. So why does this keep happening? It’s not an attack against a particular person but it’s more of a systemic issue that narcissistic leaders take advantage of. Accountability? Maybe. Craziness? Most definitely!
Church councils/boards often do not hold their pastors or leaders accountable because as mentioned in my previous post called, “The Emperor Has No Clothes” they do not know their responsibilities or roles as laid out in church or denomination bylaws. Or they have been compromised by getting scholarships, compensation, or benefits because of their position on the council or board. I have heard a senior pastor proudly proclaim that the best way to have loyalty from your council/board members is to recruit people that have been saved under their ministry or have been restored by them. This is the ultimate in spiritual abuse, when a pastor uses their paternal position to manipulate people into feeling beholden to them with their loyalty. The real craziness goes up several levels when you go to denominational leaders or affiliate representatives that exist to uphold integrity within their structures and governances. Many times, when you do approach these leaders with reoccurring issues within the craziness of your church, they respond with the posture of wanting to protect their liabilities. In other words, they lawyer-up quick. Sadly, the most important thing for them at that moment is not to protect the victims but to protect their religious non-profit 501c3 organization. I once personally went to someone in the upper echelon of leadership about some serious concerns and their response was to indirectly tell me how to get around the legalities of the situation. Some of these leaders have been there for decades and just like politicians they are admired by their peers they protect but are oblivious to the countless victims they are responsible for. I am going to continue to pray for those leaders who have not wavered and for God to raise new leaders that will not put up with crazy.
Why does this continue to reoccur within our churches? My suspicion is that councils, directors, and denominational leaders place their bet that consumer churches will soon forget about misbehavior and move forward. They do not want to deconstruct and lose momentum…they choose to keep the machine going. A stage-driven church with good music, children’s ministry, LED screens and more lights makes everyone happy. Unfortunately…we become what we tolerate regardless of how pretty our churches look. Here are some questions that you can ask your church about how their denomination/affiliate structure keeps them accountable.
Does your church staff and congregation have a whistle-blower hotline or direct contact they can call to express a concern? This is important because many of the concerns that a staff person or church member has will never reach the appropriate channels or leaders. If they do not have one, remind them that it is 2021 and they have the technology to do it.
Does your denomination or supervisor have a yearly assessment of your senior pastor including a psychological evaluation? It is important that this is a formal process because many pastors and leaders will consider it an “assessment” if they just talk to their supervisor who is also a friend while playing golf (paid for by tithe dollars) or having coffee. Ask if they do psychological evaluations because there are leaders that can be helped who are clinically depressed and fight mental health issues.
Are there any inspections or help given to board/council members to assist them to understand their roles and responsibilities? This must not be left to the pastor. A pastor can’t hold the council accountable because the council should be there to keep the pastor accountable.
Does your denomination or affiliate representatives meet and evaluate church staffs to find out if they are healthy? There are many ex-staff members that years later are still going to counseling because of unhealthy work environments. Staff members, especially under narcissistic leadership, do not say anything during their tenure because of fear of reprisal. Having a denominational evaluation in place will give an employee a safe place to express what is really going on.
Is there an exit interview given by the denomination or supervisor? I have worked for 31 years in ministry and 15 years of it was in my last assignment. No one in leadership, not my district supervisor, nor church council, nor my denomination has ever asked me what occurred at the end of my employment and if there was anything that warrants an investigation. I believe if exit interviews were a requirement for churches that many insightful things would be discovered.
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