In the 2006 romantic comedy Failure to Launch, Matthew McConaughey plays a 35-year-old man still living with his parents. He is content with his situation and demonstrates no interest in ever leaving his comfortable lifestyle. For whatever reason, he was stuck because of a condition called Failure to Launch. In this Honest Conversation I would like to discuss the concept of Failure to Launch when it comes to leadership. No matter what part of the world you survey, what people desire in a leader is honesty and competency. If you truly want to launch successfully, you must follow and posses the power of both. Competency without honesty (character) is disastrous. These kinds of leaders operate in a transactional world ruled by the depravity of their hearts and often only think of themselves. On the other end of this spectrum you’ll find leaders that are characterized by their honesty but they lack the capacity to achieve their objectives. If I had to choose only one of these qualities in a leader I would pick honesty. But when a leader can operate in the synergy of both honesty and competency it is a wonderful thing that people respect and want to partner with and perpetuate. So why is it that some denominations that have existed for over 100 years, with annual revenues in the hundreds of millions of dollars, have failed to launch simple accountable structures and processes that would help local churches stay on an honest path as they grow? Or why is it so common to find churches that have existed for more than 20 years that are completely lacking in transparency and good accounting practices? I personally know of situations in which senior pastors acted inappropriately or spent church money irresponsibly and when confronted about it they seem to always come up with same solution. They create a coalition to investigate what went wrong then reveal the conclusions of their study with a self-congratulatory flourish. Although this approach gives the impression that those in leadership are taking the matter very seriously, most of the time they fail to launch the true accountability that really needs to happen to prevent the next disaster. To make things worse these coalitions are usually commissioned by the very people whose bad behavior caused the problem and funded by the organization that allowed it to happen in the first place. Many times, the leadership of these religious institutions try to do just enough to create a narrative that they are doing everything possible to fix the situation. One reoccurring thing that drove me crazy was listening to these leaders boast about all they did for the community by giving away food and benevolence, but they were usually agitated behind closed doors by the fact that they had to spend .002% of tithable income on these programs. These were restricted funds that could not be spent on anything but food or benevolence because the people who had given the money had specifically designated their giving to these programs. The struggle to get leadership approval to release these funds was always a point of contention. If these benevolence programs were something a church was truly committed to, then perhaps they could give at least 1% of total church income and stop pretending. But optics is the most important. Just like in the movie, Failure to Launch, leaders are content with their situations and would never launch anything that would bring them discomfort and maybe even cause them to be transformed. I recently read a quote from Jazz Zo Marcellus that says, “Accountability feels like an attack when you’re not ready to acknowledge how your behavior harms others.” There are many reasons why religious organizations that are 100 years old and which have competent leadership still fail to launch an adequate accountability process and structure. In my opinion, the main reason for this failure is that accountability brings light to the wrongs that need to be made right. For some, this kind of accountability would mean they would have to learn how to swim in unfamiliar waters but they would rather not give up the comfort of their boats.
How is it that there are some denominations to this day that do not have any psychological testing to assess and evaluate their leaders’ emotional health. They also have boards and councils which operate with no denominational guidance and which lack basic job descriptions of their roles and responsibilities. Is it proper to have no process in which a staff is able to evaluate and give feedback on their work environments to a higher authority? As mentioned in my other posts (Accountability? Maybe. Craziness? Most Definitely! and The Emperor Has No Clothes) these and other simple accountability assessment tools would not be hard to implement. Many of these institutions are sitting on millions of dollars that could create inexpensive solutions if there was a will to do so. So, is it a lack of competency or honesty that after years of existence we cannot figure out how to implement this in many of our churches? Unfortunately, a church structure characterized by a Failure to Launch has been conveniently accepted, covered over with various excuses and abdication of responsibility. What I hope for is that we would have compassion for people who have made bad decisions because of their depravity, but that we would not settle for bad behavior that goes unchallenged from our church leaders.
What are some solutions that we can do to stop Failure to Launch? An important place to start would be with our children’s ministry. I suggest starting here because children are the most vulnerable among us and cannot protect themselves. Parents must be the biggest advocates for their children. Churches that lack a robust system are easy targets for sexual predators because of the lack of accountability and the fact that children’s leaders are often the most inexperienced people on staff. I suggest asking the following questions and to not put your children in any program that you do not feel comfortable with. Again, children’s ministry is rarely inspected by denominational or upper-echelon church leaders until it is too late.
Questions to ask of your church’s children’s ministry:
Do they run national background checks on all employees and volunteers? Are children’s church staff and volunteers rechecked every year? You might be surprised how often leaders are okay with not having everyone background checked because they are so desperate to get help. They are willing to cut corners on the process to quickly get someone to help. Ask this question: Does everyone involved in children’s ministry have a current national background check on file? This doesn’t only apply on the weekends but anytime there is childcare or children’s ministry.
Do the children’s church staff have any education, training, or certification to work with children? This is an important question. Many churches place inexperienced leaders in this position as a starting place in ministry with little thought for the care and development of the children. Every leader and volunteer at the minimum should go through some appropriate training. Volunteers that are part of the church internship program have not necessarily been background checked or trained. It is okay to trust but please verify.
Are children’s church staff and volunteers trained in CPR and first aid, including infant CPR? If so, are their credentials current? Is there a person or persons with this training present at all events that include any form of childcare?
Do the children’s church staff and volunteers go through training that includes the appropriate policies and procedures in relation to all aspects of childcare? It is important to ensure that both staff and volunteers understand what is acceptable and what is not. Training in best practices will include things like bathroom policies, appropriate interactions, and emergency procedures.
Ask what the child-to-teacher ratio is and if adults are caring for the children. It is important to ask this because a lot happens when parents are not in the room and the correct ratio is there to safeguard your children. When there is not sufficient supervision in the rooms this can lead to much bigger issues.
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